Piss Fumes- NFL Predictions (Week 17)
Last Week: 8-7
Season Record: 112-67
“Lock of the Week”: 8-3
“Upset of the Week”: 5-7
Sunday Games- 1:00 PM EST
Indianapolis Colts (14-1) @ Buffalo Bills (5-10): With 16-0 out of the picture, the Colts can now rest their starters and forget about all the “perfection” hype. The regular season is about getting the best spot in the playoffs as possible, and the Colts did what needed to be done. Jim Caldwell is still easily the coach of the year, and the Colts are still the best team in the NFL.
While the game is essentially meaningless, the Bills will still be fighting for a win, as many players have jobs on the line, and many coaches/assistants are trying to make other GM’s around the league notice them. It’ll be Curtis Painter vs. Ryan Fitzpatrick….where’s the remote? Colts 13-6
New Orleans Saints (13-2) @ Carolina Panthers (7-8): Sure, that loss to Dallas hurt, due to the fact that it spoiled the Saint’s hunt for perfection, but dropping one at home to the Buccaneers? Both of these losses are at home, so all of a sudden that home-field advantage the Saints posses doesn’t just put them in Miami. Going into the playoffs with 3 straight losses can’t bode well.
The Panthers had their season end several weeks ago, yet they are playing just as good as any other NFC team right now. John Fox will be the coach next season, and rightfully so. If the Panthers could just get some solid QB play next season, they’ll be top dogs….or, well…cats again next year. Panthers 28-21
Jacksonville Jaguars (7-8) @ Cleveland Browns (4-11): The Jaguars are still just barely alive for a playoff spot, but the odds couldn’t be any slimmer. Looking back on their season, two losses in particular, the 41-0 drubbing in Seattle and the 20-3 debacle in San Francisco, can be credited as the main culprits of the Jaguars disappointing season.
The Browns have won 3 straight, and things are starting to look less bleak for the franchise. Of course, they’re the Browns, so they’ll keep Mangini around, give Brady Quinn another shot….and go 4-12 next season. Browns 14-10. Upset of the Week.
New England Patriots (10-5) @ Houston Texans (8-7): It looks like the Patriots will be sticking with their starters for this game, so the Texans certainly have their work cut out for them. They can still grab a wildcard spot with a win and some help from other squads.
New England’s offense picked up the slack last week against the Jaguars, and they may be able to do similar things to the Texans defense. People have probably forgotten about the Patriots this season, but I say watch out- they might be waking up at the perfect time. Patriots 35-17
New York Giants (8-7) @ Minnesota Vikings (11-4): Nobody expected the Vikings to suddenly collapse in the last month of the season, and now they might be coughing up the #2 seed. They showed offensive weakness against Carolina, and defensive weakness in their loss to the Bears last week. If Adrian Peterson is having a good day, then the Vikings are having a good day…it’s that simple. But how can you blame them if they don’t give him the ball? The guy just cannot get over his fumble issues right now…time to call give a Mr. “Barber” a call, AP.
The Giants didn’t just get beat last week- they got stripped of their pride. The loss ended their season, ended their time in Giants Stadium with bad taste, and destroyed the team morale. No reason for me to believe that they’ll come out with any urgency to win this game. For the first time since the 2004 season, only one of the Manning brothers will be competing for a championship this January. Vikings 34-21
San Francisco 49ers (7-8) @ St. Louis Rams (1-14): There could be the end of a legendary career in this game, as Niners wideout Isaac Bruce could possibly be facing his final opponent: the St. Louis Rams, a team he made his career with. Bruce didn’t practice this week, but chances are Mike Singletary will find a way to get him on the field, as the 49ers try to finish with their best record in years.
The Rams have steadily gotten worse and worse over the past three seasons, despite their efforts in the draft and hiring new coaches. In 2006, they went 3-13. Last year, they went 2-14. This year, they’ll go 1-15. Niners 21-9. Lock of the Week.
Atlanta Falcons (8-7) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-12): 2009 was pretty disappointing for the Falcons, but they can still finish with a winning record for the second straight year- something the team has never done before. 2010 looks good though; they’ll have a decent draft pick to help out the defense, and Matt Ryan will only improve with time. Count the Falcons back in the NFC hunt next season.
For Tampa, 2010 might be stretching it…I’d say count them back in when 2015 rolls around. If the Bucs are going to let Raheem Morris re-build the team…those fans will have to be pretty patient. Falcons 24-13
Pittsburgh Steelers (8-7) @ Miami Dolphins (7-8): Both are still alive, but need outside help. The Steelers may get Polamalu back, and they seem to be heading in the opposite direction that Miami is heading towards. They only lost by 7, but they were essentially dominated by the Texans. I didn’t expect them to roll over, and again, they still have a chance to make the playoffs. But the Steelers will finally put their season to rest. Pittsburgh 34-17
Chicago Bears (6-9) @ Detroit Lions (2-13): While the Bears should end this year on a high note with consecutive victories, the Lions still have a chance to get the #1 pick in April in consecutive seasons. Bears 38-10
Sunday Games- 4:00 PM EST
Philadelphia Eagles (11-4) @ Dallas Cowboys (10-5): The winner of this game will not only be the NFC East champs, but they’ll be the most dangerous team in the NFC going into the playoffs. With the big boys slumping in New Orleans and Minnesota, the #2 seed may be up for grabs, as well. It would be a perfect ending to the regular season for the Cowboys, overcoming their December woes and sweeping the team that kept them out of the playoffs last season. They’ll have to pressure McNabb all game, and get that explosive passing attack working against a defense that has been up-and-down all season. Cowboys 24-23
Kansas City Chiefs (3-12) @ Denver Broncos (8-7): The Broncos dug their own grave this season, but with a win and a loss by either the Jets or Ravens, they’ll still manage to sneak into the playoffs. Without Brandon Marshall, who just can’t get along with his coach, they could very well be upset by their hatred foes, who would love to go out of another dismal season with some type of credibility. Won’t happen, though. Broncos 20-17
Baltimore Ravens (8-7) @ Oakland Raiders (5-10): The Ravens have given a new meaning to the phrase, “shooting yourself in the foot” this season. Each week, they find ways to take points off the board and negate important plays by making brainless errors. All they need to do is win to get in, but they won’t go very far in the playoffs if they do. John Harbaugh is going to have to think of some new ways to discipline his players during the off-season. I’ve got some ideas, John, but you’ll need at least one empty storage closet.
The Raiders, as everyone knows, can only compete against good teams. It’s just baffling how they can beat the Bengals, Eagles, and Steelers…yet can’t even contend with teams like Clevland. The stage is set for them, here, though. At home, a chance to finish with thier best record since 2002, against a good team. The Ravens are actually the opposite, when you look at it. They can’t beat the good teams, yet they like to beat up on the bottom-feeders. Ravens get in with a win, 28-3
Tennessee Titans (7-8) @ Seattle Seahawks (5-10): Wow, the ‘09 Tennessee Titans sure looked like the ‘09 Tennessee Titans last week against the Chargers. Seriously, folks, that’s all I’ve got for games like these. Oh yeah, Chris Johnson only needs 235 rushing yards to set the single-season record. I guess I can’t count that out as a possibility….Seattle is awful. Titans 31-7
Washington Redskins (4-11) @ San Diego Chargers (12-3): Roethlisberger has two rings, and Eli’s got one…when does Philip get his? Watch out for the Chargers in the playoffs, they might actually do it this year. Chargers 24-14
Green Bay Packers (10-5) @ Arizona Cardinals (10-5): There’s a good chance that these teams will meet again next week in the Wildcard round, so expect Mike McCarthy to play it safe, and not give too much away to Arizona. The Packers can’t change anything about their seeding, and they wont be taking any risks. Arizona can still get that second seed, however. Cardinals 27-10
Sunday Night Football- Cincinnati Bengals (10-5) @ New York Jets (8-7): We’re all surprised about the Jets, who just ended perfection for the Colts and just need a win here to get a wildcard spot. But how will getting two cheap wins against teams resting starters go through with those other teams who missed the cut? How about that…the next decade of football starts with too much parity. Jets 21-16
Wow, that season went fast.

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