SportsFullCircle

Mike Cosentino: Yeah, you will probably not understand what is happening, just search NHL Love Connection on the SportsFullCircle Homepage and all the episodes are there.

Oh and if you hate 24 spoilers, don’t read this because I was careless and threw one in there.

Jack Bauer: The Following Takes Place Between 3:00PM and 4:00PM. Events occur in real time.

*Downtown Los Angeles*

Jack Bauer: I see the suspect heading North on Broadway. Dammit! I lost him. Chloe do you have access to the satellites yet.

Chloe O’Brien: Give me three minutes, Jack.

Jack: Why are things never instantaneous on this show?

Chloe: It’s the downfall of the real-time format.

Jack: Dammit! Oh did you hear that? I said dammit. Now anybody playing the 24 drinking game has a shot of whiskey. Wait I said dammit twice. DAMMIT!!! three times.

Chloe: Grow up Jack.

Jack: Sorry.

Chloe: Okay, to get back to the real plot, the suspect went under the highway 400 overpass and I lost sight of them.

Jack: Do you know what this means Chloe? Then Mike can never get Mats Sundin’s decision.

3:12:23…3:12:24…3:12:25

3:20:54…3:20:55…3:20:56

Chloe: Jack I hope you used the bathroom during that time.

Jack: The what?

*under some highway overpass*

JP Barry (Mat’s Sundin’s Player Agent): Bauer is coming to us quickly, we need a way to slow him down.

Henchman: How about a season 7 spoiler, he can’t stop something he hasn’t faced yet.

Barry: Why yes, tell Ny-to Da-almei to go and stop Bauer.

Mats Sundin: This better work Berry, the world would be shocked that I lied about making a decision and still undecided (Surprise, Surprise).

3:27:48…3:27:49…3:27:50

3:33:32…3:33:33…3:33:34

Jack: Chloe I see the suspect vehicle I should be finished in no time.

*Gun shot gives Jack’s car a flat tire*

Jack: Dammit what was that?

Ny-to Da-almei: We meet again, Jack.

Jack: Woah, woah, woah. Ny-to Da-almei? First of all what type of Pig Latin is that? I mean I can obviously tell it’s Tony Almeida. And second of all, Mike why are these plot ideas sucking?

Mike: Well you know, boredom, had nothing better to do, felt like spoiling somebody’s favourite T.V show. Just get me Sundin back please Jack?

Jack: But I don’t get it, Tony Almeida’s dead. I held him in my arms when he died.

Tony: You amuse me Jack. You see, you have taken it completely out of context. I…

Mike: NO!!! I get to tell the story. Well, apparently he didn’t die. He got rushed to the EMT where they were able to revive him but you don’t remember that, something doing with you being a Chinese prisoner.

Jack: You promised to never mention anything about China.

Mike: Well now we know not to knock my plot ideas, just follow the rest of the script.

Jack: Fine. *Jack replaces his tire with a spare one and runs over Tony thirty times all in a matter of two seconds*

Mike: That wasn’t part of the script.

Jack: Bauer Power b!tch.

3:45:59…3:46:00…3:46:01

3:52:21…3:52:22…3:52:23

Jack: Well Berry, you got nowhere to go. It’s over.

Barry: Wait, but I had one hundred henchman all with the objective to kill you.

Jack: Took care of them during commercial.

Barry: Oh, how anti-climatic.

Jack: Boys, put JP Berry into custody for withholding us from the most important information in the world  (yeah right).

*Arrest JP Berry*

*Mats Sundin tries to run away, Jack shoots him in the leg*

Jack: Mats, you’re not running away anymore.

*Jack takes Mats Sundin into Love Connection Studio*

Mike: Ah, Mr. Sundin. You cannot run away anymore now that your agent is out of the picture. We will be playing one last game of Love Connection, and this time you will finish the game.

Mats: Dammit.

Billy-Joe: Ye doggies Cletus!!! Here’s another shot of whisky for ya.

*Cletus passes out*

3:59:58…3:59:59…4:00:00

Mike: Who is Cletus?