DISCLAIMER: While this article is supposed to depict actual sport news stories, it is mainly based to entertain from a comical standpoint. Therefore I am sorry to the following people: The New York Islanders Organization, The SportsFullCircle Writing Staff (especially Brooks Laich), Barack Obama, George Bush…This is also a continuation of my first post, the original Love Connection.
Chuck Woolery: Mike we get it already, you don’t mean what you actually write. This is the last time I let you use disclaimers.
Mike Cosentino: But Chuck you might want to hear the next name. It might….
Chuck: Hello folks and welcome to Love Connection. Today we will have the conclusion between the Islanders choice of head coach and we welcome our special guest, MATS SUNDIN!!! But first, let’s bring back New York Islanders general manager, GARTH SNOW!!!
Garth Snow: Thanks for having me back, Chuck.
Chuck: No problem. Now last time, we gave you the option to choose between your pick, Bob Hartley, or the audience’s pick, Scott Gordon. Who will it be Garth?
Garth: Well Chuck, I have done some thinking about the future of my franchise, but really I’m only making this decision since Charles Wang is a very cheap man. I would rather have Hartley but since I’m a Charles Wang puppet, I’m picking Scott Gordon.
Chuck: Good choice. Now let’s listen to what Scott Gordon has to say about his hiring.
Scott Gordon: From my time coaching in Providence, I’ve seen firsthand the talented young players in this organization. I look at the direction and the vision for this team and see a bright future. (ACTUAL QUOTE!!!)
Chuck: Thank you Scott. And Mike, you don’t need to get overexcited when we use actual quotes.
Mike: Sorry Chuck, won’t happen again.
Chuck: Ah good old Mike. Personally I feel he is the best writer on SportsFullCircle, do we agree audience?
Random Audience Member #1: Way better than that Brooks Laich guy.
Random Audience Member #2: If Mike was running for President, I take him over Obama any day.
Chuck: Mike is Canadian, therefore it would be impossible for him to be an AMERICAN PRESIDENT.
RAM #2: Well Canadian or not he at least beats Bush.
Chuck: Now that we can agree on. But anyways, it’s time to bring out OUR SPECIAL GUEST!!!
RAM #1: I hope it’s Mike.
Chuck: NO!!! It’s always about Mike isn’t it. Never about the host Chuck. I try to give you guys an entertaining gameshow and I can’t believe…
Audience: THEN TELL US WHO THE SPECIAL GUEST IS ALREADY!!!
Chuck: *sniffling* Ladies and Gentlemen, Mats *sniffles* Sundin.
RAM#1: It’s not Mike, but he will do.
Chuck: You know what? That’s it, I’m not hosting this show anymore. If we all love Mike so much why don’t we let him be the host?
RAM#2: GREAT IDEA!!!
*Chuck runs off stage and Mike appears*
*Standing ovation for Mike*
Mike: Thanks guys. But let’s get back to the actual matter here, we got a gameshow to play. So Mats, what have you been doing lately?
Mats Sundin: Nothing much Mike. Just enjoying some R&R along with a few rounds of golf.
Mike: So, have you thought about recently about your decision?
Mats: Whether to use Nike or Titlest drivers?
Mike: Not exactly. The decision about if you are going to play another hockey season?
Mats: Oh people actually care about that?
Mike: Yes they do, that is why you are on the show today.
Mats: Okay let’s get a decision made.
MIke: Alright Mats, we have given you three choices. Let’s reveal candidate #1, RETIREMENT PAPERS!!!
Retirement Papers: …………………
Mike: Candidate #2, CLIFF FLETCHER REPRESENTING THE TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS ORGANIZATION!!!
Cliff Fletcher: Mats, come back.
Cliff: ……….Damn. (Thanks SteveDangle)
Mike: Finally candidate #3, GUY CARBONNEAU REPRESENTING THE MONTREAL CANADIENS ORGANIZATION!!!
Guy Carbonneau: Matz Sundin, come play for ze Montreal Canadiens.
Mike: Okay Mats, which one of the 3 are you going to choose.
Mats: Can I use a lifeline?
Mike: What is this? Are we playing Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Now?
Mats: Does that mean no?
Mike: Well due to time constraints I can’t argue any longer and must obey your wishes, *mutters under breath* Stupid producers, we have brought your agent JP BERRY!!!
JP Berry: Thanks for having me on the show, Mike.
Mike: No problem. Can we please make a decision now.
JP Berry: Fine we will go with the retirement papers.
Mike: Okay. Retirement papers, how would you benefit the life choice of Mats Sundin.
Retirement Papers: ………………….
Berry: There just pieces of paper. They can’t talk.
Mike: I’LL QUESTION ANYONE OR ANYTHING I WANT!!!
Berry: But I’m just saying that’s pretty idiotic for someone who thinks…
Mike: Have I ever mentioned that my bodyguard is Jack Bauer?
Berry: I have no comment.
Mike: Great. Okay Mats, how would retirement benefit you?
Mats: Well I would get more rounds of golf in.
Mike: Mats, you have played for the Maple Leafs for the last 13 seasons, I’m pretty sure you have had plenty of time to golf.
Mats: Well you can never have too much of a good thing can you?
Mike: I guess you can’t. Anyways we are done with the question round and let us reveal who the audience selected. *pause* The audience has selected The Montreal Canadiens. Now Mats, would you rather hang up the skates for good or go for the Stanley Cup in Montreal?
Mats: I don’t know. I think I need a round of golf first to get my head straight. Actually make it 13 rounds.
Mike: Mats, will we ever hear your decision?
Mats: I will choose the Nike drivers.
Mike: No, the one about your hockey career.
Mats: Eventually, I don’t know when but I’ll let you know.
Mike: You will come back again and tell us right?
Mats: Of course, this show is awesome.
Mike: We look forward to seeing you again, Mats, hopefully with a decision. Until next time folks, this is Mike Cosentino hoping that you can find the right connection.